Lugnuts N Such

My sleepy, heavy summer drones on. I am having fun here and there, but I am more than a little cranky because of the heat and the lack of a strict schedule. I am trying to remind myself I would have killed for this a few years ago! Erik is tolerating my ever lengthening workouts in the morning beautifully, and we have set our own pace. While I don't feel like I'm doing much of anything, we seem to be doing the same sort of nothing on the same schedule every day and accomplishing things in the process.

Erik's current obsessions:

1. Lugnuts
2. Things that are broken (and asking 1200 times if they are)
3. Vacuum cleaners
4. Sirens/fire trucks/fire alarms (good during the day but terrifying at night)

Yes, he is STILL asking whether or not the Jeep will start and puts his hands over his ears. His obsessions/fears are becoming more interesting to me because of his ever increasing language skills. He can now have a converastion with me about them. While the reasons for each obession remain completely mysterious, I can now ask him questions about the objects he fixates on to try to gain some insight. As the grief recedes, my fascination increases regarding how my son's brain works. He is an amazing little soul.

My current obsessions:

1. Canadian whiskey
2. Daily exercise
3. Grilling
4. Reality television
5. My Aerogarden (now with 45 different types of lettuce)

In regard to number three, I'm a Daddy's Girl for sure. In honor of this, I will share my latest tried and true recipe for you. Brian and I both gave it the thumbs up.

GRILLED FLANK STEAK SOFT TACOS WITH AVOCADO-LIME SALSA

STEAK:

1 Tbsp chili powder
2 tsp grated lime rind
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp chipotle chile powder
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 (1-lb) flank steak, trimmed
Cooking spray

SALSA:

1 cup diced peeled avocado
3/4 cup finely chopped tomato
1/3 cup finely chopped Vidalia or other sweet onion
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 tsp grated lime rind
2 Tbsp fresh lime juice
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp hot pepper sauce (such as Tabasco)

REMAINING INGREDIENTS:

8 (6-inch) corn tortillas
2 cups very thinly sliced green cabbage

To prepare steak, combine first 5 ingredients in a small bowl. Score a diamond pattern on both sides of steak. Rub chili powder mixture evenly over steak. Cover and chill 1 hour.

Prepare grill to medium-high heat.

Place steak on a grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill 8 minutes on each side or until desired degree of doneness. Remove from heat; let stand 10 minutes. Cut steak diagonally across grain into thin slices.

To prepare salsa, combine avocado and next 7 ingredients (through pepper sauce) in a medium bowl.

Warm tortillas according to package directions. Top each taco with 1/4 cup salsa and 1/4 cup cabbage.

Yield: 4 servings (serving size 2 tacos)

CALORIES: 353
FAT: 16 g
FIBER: 6.8 g

(8 Weight Watchers points -- I also added 2 Tbsp of fat-free sour cream, which is free)

Hummus Among Us

For nearly four years now Erik's sensory processing issues (hyperacusis) have required that I take any minor kitchen appliance that makes a substantial amount of noise to the garage or behind two doors in the master bathroom to use. Since I started Weight Watchers over a year ago, any neighbor of ours who drives past our house to work has been treated to the sight of me sitting in my bathrobe on the porch after a sweaty workout. I plug the food processor into the outlet there to grind up my hummus for my mid morning snack. It hasn't been all bad. I sit there and enjoy the sunshine to the horrific screeching of the machine and watch the surrounding wildlife startle and scamper into the bushes. There are times, though, I wish I could just do it inside. I think, boy, that sure would be handy. And the deer would be happier.

I am proud to say that I made hummus in the comfort of my own kitchen for the very first time. Erik clapped his palms over his ears to protect himself but didn't cry or even really seem to mind. At least much. His curiosity dominated any discomfort he was feeling. Now if I could get the kid to eat some of it with me...

Goooo, Erik!



HUMMUS

1 (15.5-oz) can chickpeas
4 tsp tahini (or smooth natural peanut butter)
1 Tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp grated lemon rind
1 clove garlic
1/8 tsp ground cumin
1/8 tsp salt

Drain and rinse chickpeas, reserving 1/3 cup of the canned chickpea liquid; set aside.

In a food processor or blender, combine the chickpeas, tahini, lemon juice, lemon rind, garlic, cumin, and salt. With the processor running, gradually add the reserved chickpea liquid through the feed tube and process until smooth.

Per serving (1/4 cup): 63 cal, 2 g fat, 2 g fiber = 1 point

Comfort Food

Diet French Toast Bites
(2 servings)

2 slices whole wheat bread
1/4 c Egg Beaters or other liquid egg substitute
3 Tbsp low-fat milk
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1 pinch cinnamon or nutmeg
1 pinch salt (optional)

Cut each slice of bread into 4 squares. I leave the crust on, but you can remove it you want.

In a large shallow bowl, mix together the egg substitute, milk, vanilla, cinnamon, and, if you want, the salt.

Prepare a large skillet on a heat just above medium with no-fat cooking spray.

Add all the bread pieces to the "egg" mixture bowl and gently scoot them around with your fingers -- flipping each piece so both sides are drenched and all the mixture is absorbed.

Start cooking the bread pieces in the skillet a batch (as many pieces as you can fit in the skillet) at a time. Brown each slice for about 3 or 4 minutes. Give the skillet another thin spray of cooking oil between each batch.

Serve and enjoy!

(2 Weight Watchers points. I usually add another point with light maple syrup and a handful of mixed berries.)

Still at a loss for words, for the most part. I apologize to my friends and family members who are beginning to suspect I fell off the face of the earth. I'm doing okay. Seriously!

Next week is my second special needs mothers' support group meeting. We plan to throw our own potluck party using the facilities at the senior center. These girls really know how take advantage of what is available in town!

Sophie's Run is coming up, too, this weekend. I will be sure to provide photos of the event. Erik is excited about seeing Sophie and singing "Happy Birthday" to her.

Spicy Beef Stew

I am feeling quite proud of myself. I scored four pounds of free beef at the store yesterday. If you are home all afternoon and would like the house to smell lovely, I recommend this recipe. My husband loves it.

2 lbs lean beef (preferably chuck roast)
2 large onions, cut into wedges
1 lb new potatoes, cut in half
1 lb baby carrots
1-1/2 Tbsp Italian seasoning
2 tsp beef bouillon granules
2 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
2 cans (11.5 oz each) hot and spicy vegetable juice

Cut beef into 1 to 1-1/2-inch cubes; place in a 4-1/2-quart Dutch oven. Add all other ingredients. Bring mixture to a boil over medium-high heat; cover and transfer to oven.

Bake 4 hours at 250 degrees. Do not peek. Do not stir. Garnish with chopped fresh parsley if desired. Serve with cornbread.

(from yankeemagazine.com)

Time Saving Recipe #1

These are the easiest rolls to make EVER. Last night I made white chicken chili and found this "recipe" to serve with it. Totally delish, and nobody would know you cheated.

BEER ROLLS

4 cups Bisquick
one 12-oz can of beer
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp sesame seeds

Preheat oven to 425. In a large bowl, dump the baking mix, sugar, and beer; mix well. Spoon equally into 12 muffin cups that have been coated with nonstick cooking spray. Sprinkle with sesame seeds. Bake for 15 to 18 minutes, or until golden. Serve warm, or allow to cool slightly, then remove to a wire rack to cool completely.

(195 calories, 6 g fat, 1 g fiber = 4 WW points)

Dip Recipe

This is a recipe for my favorite layer dip I'm posting especially for Erik's Auntie Cinnamon today.

Festive Chicken Dip

1-1/2 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts, finely chopped
1/4 c lime juice, divided
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 can (16 oz) refried beans
1-1/2 c sour cream, divided
1 pkg (1.25 oz) dry taco seasoning mix, divided
1 Tbsp picante sauce
1 avocado, chopped
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 cup (4 oz) shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 tomatoes, finely chopped
1 can (2.25 oz) sliced black olives, drained
1 bag (10 oz) tortilla chips
Fresh cilantro for garnish

Place chicken in a bowl. Sprinkle with 3 Tbsp lime juice, garlic, salt, and pepper; mix well. Set aside.

Combine beans, 1/2 c sour cream, 2-1/2 Tbsp taco seasoning, and picante sauce in a medium bowl. Spread bean mixture in the bottom of a shallow 2-quart casserole dish.

Combine avocado and remaining 1 Tbsp lime juice in a small bowl; sprinkle over bean mixture. Combine remaining 1 c sour cream and 2-1/2 Tbsp taco seasoning in a small bowl; set aside.

Heat oil in a large skillet over high heat until hot; add chicken in a single layer. Do not stir. Cook about 2 minutes or until chicken is brown on bottom. Turn chicken and cook until other side is brown and no liquid remains. Break chicken into separate pieces with fork. Layer chicken, sour cream mixture, cheese, onion, and tomatoes over avocado mixture. Top with olives. Refrigerate until completely chilled. Serve with chips. Garnish with cilantro.

(Makes 8 cups of dip)

Chilly

Samantha & Erik

Our trip over the mountains to visit my soon-to-be 90-year-old grandmother was placed on hold because of an approaching storm that looked like a pulsing, chartreuse booger on our meteorologist's radar screen on last night's news. It did snow here all day Thursday, but we don't have much to show for it now. Thursday was the day we had pool therapy in the morning and a home visit just an hour after we got home from that. It was insane. On top of everything, I grocery shopped, worked, shoveled snow, cooked dinner, and rescued a stray dog that refused to leave our property and sat in the storm all day. I am happy that we survived the week, although I'm now exhausted. I'm glad that our IFSP has been rescheduled for March.

Erik stacked some blocks this morning, but he is more into demolition than construction. Last night I built towers, and he systematically destroyed them Godzilla style. Each time a tower met its demise, he would exclaim, "Oh no!" or "Oh nuts!" He later fell off the love seat like a seasoned stunt double, crawled up onto my lap, and said to himself, "Poor baby!" What a character. I laughed a lot yesterday.

Since my computer's hard drive kicked the bucket, I had to reconstruct an updated backup of my blog to store on a CD. It was interesting, to say the least, to revisit what I have written here. I have nearly 200 pages of written material now. I was genuinely surprised to see just how far I have progressed over the last year. My bad days are few and far between now, although they still sneak up on me. I am glad I have a place to sit and write how I feel. I cannot share my feelings verbally to this degree with anyone, even if I pay them good money to listen. I have always had a difficult time expressing how I feel verbally.

Most of my fear now comes from the unknown, especially when it comes to Erik's future health. I have learned to take one day at a time in that regard and enjoy my moments with him as fully as humanly possible. I can also do nothing in terms of predicting what his level of functioning will be at this point except for hope for the best and attempt to teach him the best I know how. This requires a great deal more creativity than I anticipated in terms of helping him understand the world. I imagine it's hard for some people looking at my life and reading how I feel to understand why I write what I do. I can't describe how difficult it is to simply enjoy things like most mothers when I am being instructed how to teach my child to speak by speech pathologists, how to walk by physical therapists, and how to eat, dress, and even play by occupational therapists. Erik and I are both being evaluated and scored. The truth is, this has simply sucked a lot of the normal out of being a mother. No, I don't enjoy things like most mothers. I never will. However, I feel less and less sorry for myself as time passes. Why? What I discovered long ago is that I actually treasure each smile, word, step, and accomplishment more than most mothers ever will. Watching Erik reach each milestone is simply extraordinary, creating in me a first-man-on-the-moon-type of feeling in my heart, releasing a thousand butterflies in my stomach, and making me feel I could easily walk on air.

I remember being pregnant with Erik and driving home from the hospital after we found out we were going to have a boy. I have always wanted a son, and even though I was alone in the car, I actually said out loud, "God, I'm not worthy of this!" I had tears running down my face, and I was the happiest girl on the planet. I wanted to fall to my knees. At that moment, I was imagining a very different life for our family than the one we live now. I had no idea where Erik would take me and how many wonderful people he would bring to me. Despite all of the challenges that we face, I still feel the same way every day. I'm incredibly blessed to know this little boy, and it's a true honor to be his mother. I'm still not close to being worthy of such an incredible gift and such gigantic responsibility, but I take great comfort in the fact that I know I am doing my very best.

As Erik would say, "All right! All right!"

Sheesh. Somebody pass the freaking Kleenex.

Today I plan on watching the storm swallow the mountains, and I'll start a batch of chili eventually. You are welcome to join me! I wish you all could.

White Chicken Chili

1 T vegetable oil
1 chopped onion
3 cloves crushed garlic
1 can (4 oz) diced jalapeno peppers
1 can (4 oz) chopped green chiles
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp ground cayenne pepper
2 (14.5 oz) cans chicken broth
3 cups chopped cooked chicken breast
3 (15 oz) cans white beans
1 cup shredded jack cheese

Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium-low heat. Slowly cook and stir the onion until tender. Mix in the garlic, jalapeno, green chiles, cumin, oregano, and cayenne. Continue to cook and stir the mixture until tender, about 3 minutes. Mix in the chicken broth, chicken, and white beans. Simmer 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Remove the mixture from heat. Stir in the cheese until melted. Serve warm.

(You are what you eat. I like mine hella spicy. You can substitute mild green chiles for the jalapenos to tone it town, if you'd like.)

Cooking with Erik

Good morning, everybody. It's Erik! Surprise!

I know I haven't posted here before, but my mom says most people in their right minds would think a toddler with his own regular guest segment on a blog is plain creepy. However, she's sleeping in today, and I thought I would take this opportunity to hurdle the baby gate and log on this morning to share a couple of my favorite recipes.

Mom found this recipe in Woman's Day and modified it to my tastes. She uses the tiny noodles, too, which are my favorite. She likes this one because it makes the house smell nice when it's baking. I think it's pretty awesome.

Pizza Casserole

2 cups tiny mac salad noodles
2 tsp olive oil
1 lb ground beef
1/3 cup finely chopped onion
1 clove garlic, finely chopped (can be omitted for picky eaters)
1-2 tsp Italian seasoning
1 can (10-3/4 oz) condensed tomato soup
1/2 c shredded mozzarella

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Cook noodles according to package directions. Drain and reserve.

Meanwhile, heat oil on medium-high heat in a nonstick skillet. Add ground beef, onion, and garlic. Cook until beef is no longer pink. Drain off excess liquid. Stir in Italian seasoning, soup, 1/3 c water, and noodles.

Take off the heat and add half of the cheese. Spoon into 11 x 7-in baking dish and sprinkle remaining cheese over the top. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes until bubbly.

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Mom bought me a package of tater tots because I ate lots of them at Dominick's house one night. She was pretty surprised when I told her how yukky they are when she served them at home. She said something about it taking 10 years for her and dad to eat a bag of tots that big. She went on line and found this recipe for me, and I actually liked it. Oh, sure, it's no pizza casserole, but it's better than the crappy, dry tots by themselves.

Beefy Tater Tot Casserole

1 lb ground beef
1 green pepper, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1 can tomato soup (I used Campbell's tomato bisque)
1 (4-1/2 oz) jar mushrooms, sliced and drained
2 c (8 oz) mozzarella cheese, shredded
1 (32 oz) pkg frozen tater tots

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a skillet, cook the beef, peppers, and onions until no pink remains. Drain the fat. Add the tomato soup and mushrooms; heat. Pour into a greased 13 x 9-in baking dish. Sprinkle the cheese and potatoes over the top and bake at 400 for 30-35 minutes or until golden brown.

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Bon appetit!

All my love,

Erik