Lugnuts N Such

My sleepy, heavy summer drones on. I am having fun here and there, but I am more than a little cranky because of the heat and the lack of a strict schedule. I am trying to remind myself I would have killed for this a few years ago! Erik is tolerating my ever lengthening workouts in the morning beautifully, and we have set our own pace. While I don't feel like I'm doing much of anything, we seem to be doing the same sort of nothing on the same schedule every day and accomplishing things in the process.

Erik's current obsessions:

1. Lugnuts
2. Things that are broken (and asking 1200 times if they are)
3. Vacuum cleaners
4. Sirens/fire trucks/fire alarms (good during the day but terrifying at night)

Yes, he is STILL asking whether or not the Jeep will start and puts his hands over his ears. His obsessions/fears are becoming more interesting to me because of his ever increasing language skills. He can now have a converastion with me about them. While the reasons for each obession remain completely mysterious, I can now ask him questions about the objects he fixates on to try to gain some insight. As the grief recedes, my fascination increases regarding how my son's brain works. He is an amazing little soul.

My current obsessions:

1. Canadian whiskey
2. Daily exercise
3. Grilling
4. Reality television
5. My Aerogarden (now with 45 different types of lettuce)

In regard to number three, I'm a Daddy's Girl for sure. In honor of this, I will share my latest tried and true recipe for you. Brian and I both gave it the thumbs up.

GRILLED FLANK STEAK SOFT TACOS WITH AVOCADO-LIME SALSA

STEAK:

1 Tbsp chili powder
2 tsp grated lime rind
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp chipotle chile powder
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 (1-lb) flank steak, trimmed
Cooking spray

SALSA:

1 cup diced peeled avocado
3/4 cup finely chopped tomato
1/3 cup finely chopped Vidalia or other sweet onion
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 tsp grated lime rind
2 Tbsp fresh lime juice
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp hot pepper sauce (such as Tabasco)

REMAINING INGREDIENTS:

8 (6-inch) corn tortillas
2 cups very thinly sliced green cabbage

To prepare steak, combine first 5 ingredients in a small bowl. Score a diamond pattern on both sides of steak. Rub chili powder mixture evenly over steak. Cover and chill 1 hour.

Prepare grill to medium-high heat.

Place steak on a grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill 8 minutes on each side or until desired degree of doneness. Remove from heat; let stand 10 minutes. Cut steak diagonally across grain into thin slices.

To prepare salsa, combine avocado and next 7 ingredients (through pepper sauce) in a medium bowl.

Warm tortillas according to package directions. Top each taco with 1/4 cup salsa and 1/4 cup cabbage.

Yield: 4 servings (serving size 2 tacos)

CALORIES: 353
FAT: 16 g
FIBER: 6.8 g

(8 Weight Watchers points -- I also added 2 Tbsp of fat-free sour cream, which is free)

The Water's Fine

Dry Heat

Random Thought of the Day: Yeah, I think Oregon is on fire.

It's a surprisingly cool morning, although we are headed for almost triple-digit temperatures. Although the grass on our property is still bone dry, I can smell a hint of the scent of rain in the air. The sky is covered with a thin, gray cataract of smoke and fog.

I have done quite poorly in this heat. I have been trudging around with an intermittent, sometimes debilitating headache for four entire days. Yesterday I took a pain pill and found a spot on the couch with Erik in front of Sesame Street. I felt like a complete crack house mother, but I had no choice. I asked Erik to bring me the blanket on the other couch. He looked at it, laughed, and walked away. Eventually I was able to convince him to fetch it for me. I fell into a drug-induced slumber to the shrill, ear-piercing voice of Elmo for a good five to 10 minutes and felt slightly better when I woke up. I don't have the luxury of calling in sick to my job. The only time I ever left my partner hanging was when Erik brought home a lively batch of Rotavirus and I was on the bathroom floor calling Ralph on the big, white telephone for two or three days. In any event, I am able to go through the motions of my routine and am waiting for this to pass so I can be me again.

Erik attended his first session of summer school Monday. He seemed to be happy to be back at school. I made myself comfortable in my rocking chair and looked longingly at the empty coffee maker but soon realized I was the only one at parent group. I leafed through an old copy of Reader's Digest, ignoring the serious texts and manuals looming over me on the bookshelf that used to haunt me, and read about Jamie Lee Curtis instead. Finally, the parent group leader came to join me and even made me some campfire-style black coffee, and we talked about our summers. One of my favorite mothers, the one whose fundraiser I recently attended, found us and joined us for a while. We talked about a new law that has just been passed here that grants medical cards for children with less serious medical expenses than the medically fragile. Although I miss the other mothers, it was nice just having the room to ourselves for once without the hard luck stories that sometimes stick in my heart for a couple of days.

Bev, Erik's therapist, poked her head in the door, eyes wide, and announced to me, "Erik DOES NOT forget a face." She explained that as soon as she walked into the classroom, Erik said casually, "Hi, Bev," even though it has been weeks since they have seen each other. As my son is generally unable/unwilling to follow many simple instructions and is very quiet in class, when he easily greets people by name, it really blows many adults away. Even Bev. I smiled as she pulled her head back out of the doorway and went back up to the classroom, shaking her head in amazement.

After class as I was walking to the parking lot, another mother from last session called out my name, and I turned to talk to her. She voiced her disappointment because her son had been talking nonstop about Erik and we were not in the same class this session. It is definitely nice to be missed.

Erik continues to grow and give us a glimpse into his future with Williams. His anxiety, although it has always been apparent in his shaking little body, is taking a new turn. For the past two nights, I have heard him screaming as if he is in complete agony. I have hurdled the coffee table and sprinted through his door to find him sobbing, muttering, "Siren!" over and over. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and listened. Sure enough, there was the faint wail of a siren in the evening air, almost inaudible and likely miles away from here, the sound of which had drifted through his bedroom window. Why this is suddenly upsetting to him is a complete mystery to me. I can't really criticize the boy, as I was deathly afraid of inanimate objects as a child, including the American flag and broken windows. All of my shushing and soothing words have little effect on him when he is this worked up. I found a CD of classical music in his ever-growing music collection and put it on his stereo, which began to calm him down. I then snuggled in bed with him and practiced my sad ventriloquism skills on the slobbery stuffed animal I call "Stinky Dog." That actually elicited a hearty laugh from him.

Life goes on here, and it is good.

Hard sometimes, but good.