Day From Hades

For once in my life I have someone who needs me
Someone I've needed so long
For once, unafraid, I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I'll be strong

-- "For Once In My Life" (Stevie Wonder)

Today is Erik's IFSP meeting. It is going to be a wild day. Erik goes to group therapy at 8:30. I will drop him off and camp out at my parents' house on that side of town until it's time to pick him up at 10:00, bring him back to my parents' house to try to get him to sleep for an hour or so, and then bring him back to the facility at 12:30 for the IFSP. Hopefully, he will be exhausted and nap again when we get home so I can cram work into my day somewhere. I see a giant glass of cheap red wine in my future.

My stomach kind of feels like a fish bowl with a handful of guppies swirling around in it today. I know basically what to expect at the meeting. Like I said before, I am not fond of panels of any sort. Frankly, they make me feel defensive and a little like I am a contestant on American Idol. We will most undoubtedly discuss Erik's walking and orthotics. I can't help but think of that Simpsons episode where Bart was forced to wear those awful, thick glasses, some sort of salve for his scalp that made his hair greasy and flat, and platform orthopedic shoes. He left the doctor's office looking like a nerdy, palsied Buddy Holly. Terrible, I know. I think glasses are next for Erik, because without my glasses or contacts, I slam into as many walls as he does, and he has probably at least close to half of my chromosomes/genes, which means he probably inherited my eyes. I was in a very expensive antique store this weekend with narrow aisles and couldn't help but think it was a good thing Erik wasn't with me on that particular outing. At least Erik's hair is fluffy now. In the old days, with his cradle cap and eczema, I actually poured olive oil on his head to loosen up the flakes on his scalp. He smelled a little like a bread stick at the Olive Garden but didn't seem to mind.

I am anxious because I want the absolute best for my son and know this is the right thing to be doing with him. The people we will meet with today seem to have a genuine desire to help the kids they work with. Hopefully, they can point us in the right direction and give us the tools to help Erik succeed. I am discouraged about his balance and walking and hope they can help with those things.