New Dreams
There are some things that I will never have the opportunity to do as a mother. I spent the last two years digesting each of those losses like little deaths, and they have all hit home now. The moment we were diagnosed, I could almost hear hundreds of doors slamming shut. Opportunities ripped from me. Dreams destroyed.
However, I accept the fact that I will likely never jump up and down in a set of bleachers cheering for a son who is the quarterback of his high school's football team. He will likely never play on a football team at all. I accept the fact that I will likely never take him to the DMV to get his driver's license. I accept the fact that I will never have the opportunity to watch my son graduate from medical school. I accept the fact that I will likely never attend his wedding or have a daughter-in-law. Lastly, I am very slowly learning to accept the fact that I will likely live my entire life without being somebody's grandmother.
However, as I have watched Erik grow, I have witnessed him flinging doors open on his own, touching the people around him in a way I would never imagine was possible. He received two pieces of mail in one day this week. That's pretty decent for a kid who is only 3. He loves animals and is amazing with them. He loves music and seems to have the budding desire to create it himself. He still occasionally goes into a deliriously happy trance when he sings a new song. This week he began singing "Deep in the Heart of Texas" and "Old Suzanna."
Slowly but surely, my dreams for the future are once again materializing in different forms. I visited You Tube yesterday and searched for videos on Williams syndrome. Two years ago, I saw only my personal videos posted on this subject. Now I see familiar faces with button noses and gorgeous eyes like Erik's. When I find a new video, I feel like jumping for joy. Yesterday I discovered this video of a young man who can drum up a storm. While I watched him perform, I realized I was less focused on his incredible talent and more transfixed by the joyous "woo hooing" in the background.
It was then that I suddenly had a little realization of my own.
No matter what Erik decides to do with his life, it is very likely I will have an opportunity to stand up in a crowd and cheer after all. My son has a chance to do things typical children find amazing. He has a chance to follow his own dreams and will likely need to work twice as hard as other children to accomplish them. I have all of the faith in the world in him and know he will blaze his own trail to happiness. The future is one big unknown for Erik Quinn.
I now know one thing for sure. And I'm certain it's true.
Moms like me get to "WOO HOO," too.
Thanks, Devin, for sharing your talent with the world and providing our family with another hero of our own.
However, I accept the fact that I will likely never jump up and down in a set of bleachers cheering for a son who is the quarterback of his high school's football team. He will likely never play on a football team at all. I accept the fact that I will likely never take him to the DMV to get his driver's license. I accept the fact that I will never have the opportunity to watch my son graduate from medical school. I accept the fact that I will likely never attend his wedding or have a daughter-in-law. Lastly, I am very slowly learning to accept the fact that I will likely live my entire life without being somebody's grandmother.
However, as I have watched Erik grow, I have witnessed him flinging doors open on his own, touching the people around him in a way I would never imagine was possible. He received two pieces of mail in one day this week. That's pretty decent for a kid who is only 3. He loves animals and is amazing with them. He loves music and seems to have the budding desire to create it himself. He still occasionally goes into a deliriously happy trance when he sings a new song. This week he began singing "Deep in the Heart of Texas" and "Old Suzanna."
Slowly but surely, my dreams for the future are once again materializing in different forms. I visited You Tube yesterday and searched for videos on Williams syndrome. Two years ago, I saw only my personal videos posted on this subject. Now I see familiar faces with button noses and gorgeous eyes like Erik's. When I find a new video, I feel like jumping for joy. Yesterday I discovered this video of a young man who can drum up a storm. While I watched him perform, I realized I was less focused on his incredible talent and more transfixed by the joyous "woo hooing" in the background.
It was then that I suddenly had a little realization of my own.
No matter what Erik decides to do with his life, it is very likely I will have an opportunity to stand up in a crowd and cheer after all. My son has a chance to do things typical children find amazing. He has a chance to follow his own dreams and will likely need to work twice as hard as other children to accomplish them. I have all of the faith in the world in him and know he will blaze his own trail to happiness. The future is one big unknown for Erik Quinn.
I now know one thing for sure. And I'm certain it's true.
Moms like me get to "WOO HOO," too.
Thanks, Devin, for sharing your talent with the world and providing our family with another hero of our own.
Labels: future, grief, music, Williams syndrome
posted by Nancy at 1:56 PM
12 Comments:
Thanks so much for that post, Nancy! That brought tears to my eyes. I've been sharing these feelings a lot lately and really appreciate how you write them. It's like reading my own thoughts :)
Cool video too!!!
Beautiful
Woo Hoo Nancy! We'll all be cheering for Erik too :)
Love it! Thanks for findig it and sharing with us. I love the whole blogging thing and the fact that we get to share stuff like this. Stuff that can make us feel good about our lives as they are now. There is so much for us to be proud of!
Noel
HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!
I KNOW THAT BRIAN AND YOU WILL HAVE MANY-MANY WOO-HOO'IN MOMENTS THROUGH OUT ERIK'S LIFE!!! AND I HOPE THAT WE CAN BE PART OF SOME OF THEM WOO-HOO MOMENTS AND IF NOT WE WILL JUST BE HERE WOO-HOO'IN AS LOUD AS WE CAN!!!!
BIG HUGS TO YOU GIRL!
DEE-TA
P.S.
WHEN IS THAT BOOK OF YOURS COMING OUT?
WOOHOOOOOO!!!
exactly.
Wow!! Devin is incredible!
Jaiden watched and goes "i do that one d-fore!!" which basically means "i really like that!" LOL
That young man is jammin'! Great selection to an excellent post.
Glad to hear that you’re finding new dreams and excited to celebrate.
Keep strong Nancy!
Isn't that awesome? There were two teenage boys at the ws picnic this summer that were terrific on the drums. Scott held Noah on his lap and let him have a crack at it. Needless to say he got his first drum for Christmas. Now all we need is a sound proof room. Woo Hoo to all our kids!!
That was so wonderful, Nancy. I know I'm not in your shoes, but I know what it's like to realize that dreams you have, will never come true.
Because of PCOS, I had a cyst, that prevented me from cheering in high school, playing volleyball, softball, tennis, and all of the sports I loved.
It caused me to gain weight in excess of 300lbs. I didn't feel good, and looked like a blimp in my wedding dress.
I spent a lot of time depressed and angry about all of the things I didn't, nor would ever have.
Then, one day, I realized just how blessed I was. God had given me so many things to be thankful for. He was using me as his instrument in different ways, just as he is Erik.
We many not have had the same chances as many others, but the chances we do have, truly mean something.
Erik has come a long way-- and I believe he's got a bright future ahead of him *Hugs*
So true, Nancy. That was just beautiful.
Hey there - just read this post and the other ones, too. (I am always slow at catching up.) Just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you guys. I wish there was something I could say or do to tell you everything is going to be all right in the future, especially with Erik's current behavior towards you. Sometimes life with WS just sucks. And sometimes it's amazingly wonderful.
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