Seven Random Things About Me

With all that is going on in my life and my strange lack of words to really describe it all (well, I can think of two words, the first of which is cluster), I needed a little distraction, which was kindly provided by my e-friends Aspen and Autumn at Along the Journey and how did i end up here? I smiled a lot today. I am tired, but I am generally satisfied with the week. I focused on appreciating the little things today, like the way the sunshine came in the front window and warmed the kitchen floor. It felt like spring.

As requested, here is my list of SEVEN RANDOM THINGS.

1. When I straighten the house, I put things away in multiples of ten. If I become distracted and lose count, I am compelled to start over. If I don't feel like putting away another ten things, I allow myself to stop, but only after an additional five items. Obsessive-compulsive or a few fries short of a Happy Meal? You be the judge.

2. When I see something really, really gross, squirming or motionless, I have the horrifying, involuntary reaction that consists of immediately imagining it in my mouth. On my tongue. Behind my teeth. I have no earthly idea why, but I have done this since I was a little girl. I recently asked a friend if this was normal and got hysterical laughter in response. So, as it turns out, I guess it isn't.

3. Sometimes in a quiet setting, like during a financial planning meeting, a funeral, or an IEP, I think of the most inappropriate, usually horribly offensive word or phrase imaginable that could possibly be spoken in such a situation. Something so vile that I would immediately insist on being arrested for merely uttering it. I then amuse myself by fighting the almost irresistible urge to scream the chosen word or phrase out loud. I have come so very close...

4. I went skinny dipping once, and I would definitely do it again, even at this advanced age without any beer in me whatsoever.

5. My sense of humor is sometimes so dark and dry that it gets me into hot water or isolates me from others when that was never my intention. This is especially troublesome if I am nervous or completely freaked out. If you don't believe me, check my employee file at my former place of employment or my medical record at the women's center. If you want to be entertained, I'm the one to get stuck in a bank vault containing a limited supply of air with.

6. As you likely know by now, my junk food Achilles heel is Taco Bell. I'm not certain why, as all of the items on their menu are a combination of the same five ingredients and taste virtually identical. They just make perfect little grill marks on some of them once in a while and call them "new." Brian and I take great pride in hearing the crackling voice announcing the grand total of our food order through the drive-through speaker. Anything over $8 for two people is a badge of honor. I think the most we spent on our own dinner was approximately $13, and that was all in Value Menu items with no beverages included. There were no survivors. I mean, leftovers. Sadly, since I joined Weight Watchers, I have learned to eat like a girl again. Don't fret, though. I still impress the men in my life occasionally by making a complete glutton out of myself. In fact, I did it just the other day when I ate a hamburger bigger than my head.

7. I wear a bite guard at night because I would grind my teeth to nubs if I didn't. I have always had jaw issues and was required to wear an "appliance" in my mouth consisting of two metal shock absorber-like bars and four screws for seven months in high school. The little bars would sometimes jam when I yawned or laughed with my mouth open too widely, making me look like a freshly caught bass thrashing inside a boat. On these occasions, I found myself frantically cramming my pencil or a finger in there to jar things loose again. My orthodontist actually used a Phillips screwdriver on me. The good news is that it worked. I can't gross my mother out by popping my jaw anymore and haven't been able to for years.

Oh, yes. Consider yourself tagged if you want to play along!