Erik Quinn: The Heart of a Family: Unseen

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Unseen

Today she pulled herself out of bed
to wrestle the demons she knows by name,
all while calmly stirring her tea.
She smiles to herself because
she hardly breaks a sweat anymore.

Your lips moved, but your words were soon lost to her.

Her face appears the same as it ever did,
but you are obviously unfamiliar with her war
and misunderstood the way she bled buckets in front of you
while her tears dried and the world went on.

Her struggles seem to be mere vapors to you.
A faint stripe of something unpleasant in the air
easily whisked away by fresh, breezy prayers
and a final spritz of denial.

A child’s giggles fill the room,
his voice so gorgeous and light that it floats.
She smiles as she pushes another foe's carcass
across the floor with her toes
so there is no need for you to stumble.
It leaves a dark smear only her eyes can see.

She is capable now of fighting while
she walks behind a shopping cart,
stands guard at a playground,
stirs a pot,
changes a diaper,
squints at a computer screen,
and even laughs loudly at jokes.

Just like any woman would.

She smiles now.

But the invisible, seething war rages on for her
without the luxury of rest in the cool shade of denial.
She must go into battle every single day.

Whether you ever really see it or not.

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13 Comments:

Blogger Every minute counts.... said...

Love the poem! That was beautiflly written.

And the last post...OMG if I could send it to all of my family and especially my in-laws....they all think it is in my head too. They see Abi as a typical 2-3 yr old...except she is 5 1/2!!!! I actually had my mother-in-law, say "how old is ABi now?", I answer "she turned 5 in December", her answer " She's not that old. That can't be right"...what I wanted to say "of course not...I must have been wrong about when I gave birth to her. Your right, she is not that old!!" :)

Just feeling your pain with you!!!

Noel

12:38 PM  
Blogger camille said...

You have such a way with words. I really do hope you write that book someday. And you could add some of these lovely poems you've written that so many of us can relate to. I loved it.

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gua said:
Don't ever stop writing. Even if you stop making it public, please keep writing.

Love, Mom

6:50 PM  
Blogger Nancy said...

Thanks, Noel, and thanks, camille. I love you guys with all of my soul.

Mom -- I love you. In the last two years you have proven to be my rock. Thanks for the encouragement. I know you had no idea what I was planning and it was really scary, but I hope to make you proud.

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nancy - I've never posted a comment or written a blog, but I have been reading yours for months. You make me laugh, you make me cry and most of all you make me appreciate every minute I have with my little Joshua. I am just writing to thank you so much for your words...your true emotions.
- Kristine

9:18 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Here come the tears....
That was beautiful and so very perfect.
I can promise you, you are already making your Mom very, very proud.
xxoo

4:03 AM  
Blogger Rosemarie said...

If this is indeed your last post, it was appropriate and showed the reality of living with WS and your struggles everyday.

I pray that your journey continues to enlighten your audience and support the WS community.

Carry on woman of courage and make us all proud!

9:12 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

That was wonderful. You've got such a great way of touching other's hearts, I love your writing.

How was Erik's homecoming?

10:59 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Amen.

12:23 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Wow!!! That was amazing! You are such a gifted writer!

8:26 AM  
Blogger Edna said...

You have a gift. You coax your words to form beautiful pictures in our hearts and minds. You should DEFINITELY write a book. You've already got a fan base!

8:45 PM  
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