Open Arms
So now I come to you, with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
-- "Open Arms," Journey (1982)
This is just a note to express my gratitude to everyone who e-mailed me, called me, and commented on my recent post. Even some very friendly lurkers spoke up for the first time! Welcome! In fact, the response was so incredibly overwhelming that it was not possible to spend the time I wanted to in order to respond to each and every one of you the way I would have preferred. This will have to do for now.
I suppose the mixture of emotions in my heart now is to be expected in this long process. However, blogging brings a very interesting twist to it all. Since I have been writing my feelings down here and so many people are reading them now, I am truly experiencing some degree of guilt about what I am expressing. I know some of the things I write many people would personally keep to themselves. There is also the fact that I am developing a teensy-weensy case of stage fright. For those of you who have never met me, just two years ago I was nearly too shy to go to the grocery store. I actually dreaded the social interaction! One of my friends will insist I look quite confident in a nerve-wracking situation, but I wear a triple coat of pit stick before speaking to strangers or giving a speech. The irony of what Williams syndrome means socially in my own child is not lost on me. Ha ha. Very funny, God. There is no longer the remote possibility I can successfully slip by unnoticed in a public setting when Erik Quinn is with me. I suppose that is also true on line. After all, he is the reason you are reading this now. There would be no blog and very little of my writing without him. I would still be hiding at home.
I have thought long and hard about what to say here. There is no way I can really voice the gratitude I feel for all of your support and encouragement without sounding like I am reading the lyrics off the back of a Journey album cover, so I will cease and desist for now.
Thank you.
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
-- "Open Arms," Journey (1982)
This is just a note to express my gratitude to everyone who e-mailed me, called me, and commented on my recent post. Even some very friendly lurkers spoke up for the first time! Welcome! In fact, the response was so incredibly overwhelming that it was not possible to spend the time I wanted to in order to respond to each and every one of you the way I would have preferred. This will have to do for now.
I suppose the mixture of emotions in my heart now is to be expected in this long process. However, blogging brings a very interesting twist to it all. Since I have been writing my feelings down here and so many people are reading them now, I am truly experiencing some degree of guilt about what I am expressing. I know some of the things I write many people would personally keep to themselves. There is also the fact that I am developing a teensy-weensy case of stage fright. For those of you who have never met me, just two years ago I was nearly too shy to go to the grocery store. I actually dreaded the social interaction! One of my friends will insist I look quite confident in a nerve-wracking situation, but I wear a triple coat of pit stick before speaking to strangers or giving a speech. The irony of what Williams syndrome means socially in my own child is not lost on me. Ha ha. Very funny, God. There is no longer the remote possibility I can successfully slip by unnoticed in a public setting when Erik Quinn is with me. I suppose that is also true on line. After all, he is the reason you are reading this now. There would be no blog and very little of my writing without him. I would still be hiding at home.
I have thought long and hard about what to say here. There is no way I can really voice the gratitude I feel for all of your support and encouragement without sounding like I am reading the lyrics off the back of a Journey album cover, so I will cease and desist for now.
Thank you.
Labels: blog, fear, support system, Williams syndrome, writing
posted by Nancy at 9:16 PM
8 Comments:
OK Lady I am all caught up!!! Like I have always said Blog what you want it is always amazing, Like you I only knoe how I am feeling, I do know that your blog is yours and where you just dump so again who care what anyone thinks or percieves...How you feel is most important. I sm so glad you are feeling better did yuoo ever figure out what was wrong? A bug maybe, Tate just had something... Hope to chat soon, Love you tons!!!
Lisa
Thanks, Lisa.
As for my mystery illness, my trip to the lab and a pregnancy test yielded no answers. It just took me weeks to recover from whatever it was. Erik had it, too, but he tends to be ill for 10 minutes and then goes on with his life. Amazing little guy.
Love you, too, woman.
It is interesting how our "public" lives have now changed. Brian and I were recently talking about how as Emerson grows older and her WS becomes more and more apparent we are not going to be able to go anywhere without being noticed. Our whole family being noticed and commented on. For a while I thought that I was just being really egocentric for thinking that, but it's true. I don't think anyone can be completely comfortable with that. No more wallflower for me...
Good Morning Nancy!
I woke up and thought hmmmm I hope Nancy woke up to lots of wonderful post to her and made her feel better about having her blog. I hope she woke up and realized how many people she truly touches with her words. I thnk what you have done here is amazing! I would love to some day make my blog be so important to others. Scrapbooking is my hobby but have to say it does not touch lives the same as what you are doing here. Be proud of your blog!! My family is living with a father who has ALS (lou Gherigs disease) and I have been on those message boards. More amazing people who have helped our family more then they can ever know. As I said feel proud that you have a blog with HEART and you help soooo many others! I am so glad Heidi shared your blog with me!! Oh and yes Heidi " USE " to scrapbook!!
Hugs,
Stacey
You come by your shyness honestly. Boy, do I remember the first time I walked into a concert carrying a bassoon. What was I thinking?! End of hiding behind a stand! That was a precursor to walking into a store with Erik!
My pulse rate always quickens as I open The Heart of a Family. It can't be easy to write with your mother looking over your shoulder (and now thousands of others!), but you're a universe changing woman, and you must write what you must write.
I continue to be amazed at my gorgeous daughter-- you've found a way to help many people to really live the life they've been handed. And, you've enriched your life as well. I'm so very proud of you, and of Erik.
Love, Mom
It is an honor to share in your journey. Thanks for always being real and speaking your heart. I enjoy your honesty and questions. I look forward to witnessing more of the miracles!
I like how much we all think alike. It is funny how one of us writes something and most of us are either feeling the same at that moment or have felt that way resently. The support is amazing isn't it? Thank you for helping me to blog more of my feelings without fear of judgement!
Noel
Wow, powerful blogging Nance. I too marvel at how you can so honestly share your emotions so openly. Thanks for paving the way for the rest of us :)
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