Make it Stop
It's quite clear to me why many people overdose on medication. They just want the pain to stop. It's as simple as that. I am afflicted by one of my infamous headaches, and scooping my right eyeball out with a melon baller has never seemed so tempting. I have tried Advil, aspirin, Aleve, Excedrin, ice cream, sleep, a warm bath, darkness, pressure points, sex, caffeine, 40 gallons of water, herbal tea, light, fresh air, bourbon, praying for relief, praying for death, a blanket over my head, moaning in agony, cuddling with Erik, and ice packs to no avail. I'm out of ideas, and I'm on day two now. I slept until after eight o'clock this morning and woke up to bright sunshine, thinking I had died in the night. If I sleep in, something is just not right. The pain began Friday night, part of which I spent in Erik's room after another one of his nightmares.
Erik and I did manage to get to my folks' house yesterday. My Aunt Jane was there, too. We watched the Oregon Ducks play USC. Despite my blossoming headache, I couldn't help but scream along with the rest of them. My millions of nerve endings did a painfully slow version of the wave around the circumference of my skull. Erik used to cry when our teams scored touchdowns. Although he still jumps at the sound of cheering, he will now put his hands up in the air and yell, "TOUCHDOWN!"
I hope to write more tomorrow, but at the moment I need to go find a place to lie down and die.